


Farewell my Old Friend

by KidWhom



Category: A Hat in Time (Video Game)
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Mentions of Death, Post-Seal the Deal DLC, Snatcher is a Meanie, Songfic, mainly because of the song's lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:42:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27656335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KidWhom/pseuds/KidWhom
Summary: Mafia Boss gets musically bullied by Snatcher after asking for another contract.Songfic based on “Farewell my Old Friend” by The Cog is Dead because I have one braincell. First time doing a Songfic so formatting may be weird.
Kudos: 13





	Farewell my Old Friend

_ Farewell my old friend, _

_ It seems this is the end. _

_ You thought you were invincible, _

_ You fooool... _

_ We'll have another round, _

_ As we put you in the ground. _

_ Farewell my old friend, _

_ Farewell… _

Mafia Boss was hopping along this dreaded forest's paths again, hoping to find a certain ghost and strike a deal. He really missed having a body, and sure, he did fail to kill the Hat Brat last time despite it being his goal with the last contract… but maybe, just maybe, the Snatcher could be generous…?

As he hopped on the trail, the small jar took another hop and tripped, falling on his face. 

"AHAHAHAAAAAAA!"

"FOOOOOL!!"

...There it is.

"STILL as dramatic as the first time I met you, you burnt pasta ghoul." The jar grumbled.

"IT IS NICE TO SEE YOU TOO, MISTER STUCK-IN-A-MUG!" The Snatcher said, with a peck-eating grin on his face.

"IT IS A JAR I AM STUCK IN, YOU-"

Then Mafia Boss remembered he wasn't here to throw insults at this awful specter.

_ "Ahem."  _ The jar looked up at the Snatcher, with an oddly calm expression. "I'm here to discuss business."

"UUUUUGH."

A drawn-out groan from the Snatcher as he crossed his arms and leaned back. "We are  _ done _ with business after the terrible job you did last time! I'm not wasting any time on you!" 

"Well, could I just… Get my body back without having to fight the Hat Brat…?"

Mafia Boss didn't exactly realize how dumb that sounded. 

"What? You want… Hm. Tell me why." The Snatcher stared at the jar in his domain expectantly. 

Mafia Boss mumbled, very quickly and near-incomprehensible to most,

"Because the Kid with the Hat is very… strong."

Despite the mumbling, Snatcher understood instantly what Mafia Boss just said. his pupils shrunk. His smile widened as a snort was released. He leaned over, snickering.

**_"pfffftHAAAHAAAAHAAAAAA!"_ **

THAT KID IS TOO STRONG FOR YOU TO BEAT? AND YOU WANT ME TO JUST  _ GIVE  _ YOU A BODY??"

"...Uhm. Yes..?" The jar looked a bit nervous, either he's gonna have his self-esteem destroyed or just be straight up killed.

"MINIONS, LET'S SHOW HIM OUR NEW PERFORMANCE!" 

A performance?

The little purple creatures that call the Snatcher their Boss appeared from out of the ground. They were holding different instruments. An accordion, a guitar... Snatcher made a bright purple tuxedo appear on his noodle body (Are those sequins?) And a bright golden microphone on a stand. 

**_"1, 2, 3, 4!"_ ** The Snatcher shouted.

_ Oh no. That ghost chose the former option. _

_ "WELL, YOU WERE SELF ASSURED WITH PRIDE," _

Snatcher pointed at the Mafia Boss, a big stupid grin on the ghost's face.

_ "BUT NOT MUCH GOING ON INSIDE," _

Mafia Boss tried to retort something but found he couldn't speak.  _ Cod dang ghost magic. _

_ "CROOKED GRIN AND GLASSY-EYED, A MODEL MAN INDEED!" _

The noodle floated around the jar as he sang, making the Boss of the Mafia rather dizzy, despite the large amount of spinning he did with a body.

_ Always had a stupid scheme, _

_ To build a crazy new machine, _

_ "ASSURED US IT WOULD BE A SCREAM," _

A couple of the Snatcher's minions who gathered around to watch screamed as some sort of backing track. Mafia Boss' hearing wasn't gonna survive this.

**_"AND MOST OF US AGREED!"_ **

The instrument-wielding minions joined in with Snatcher's singing, surrounding the jar.

_ Well, man was never born with wings, _

_ Still, you built that stupid thing,  _

_ Out of rubber bands and strings - paraded it around! _

_ People said it wouldn't fly, they warned you, "man, you're gonna die!" _

_ But still, you said you had to try, _

_ AND CRASHED IT IN THE GROUND! _

_ "SO FAREWELL MY OLD FRIEND, IT SEEMS THIS IS THE END!" _

A couple of the subconites from the crowd walked over to the jar and picked him up with ease. Mafia Boss wanted to ask where the peck they were going, but of course, the Snatcher's stupid magic was preventing him. 

_ "YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE INVINCIBLE, YOU FOOOOOL!"  _

The ghost dragged out the "fool". Of course.

_ "WE'LL HAVE ANOTHER ROUND, AS WE PUT YOU IN THE GROOOUND!" _

Mafia Boss could make out the edge of Subcon that the subconites were carrying him to, was this entire song just a fancy "get out" message? 

Of course it was. This is the Snatcher we're talking about.

_ "FAREWELL, MY OLD FRIEND, FAREWEEEEELL!!" _

Mafia boss was thrown out of the forest at the edge. 

_ "NOW STAY OUT, STUCK-IN-A-MUG!" _

_ Well, that business proposal didn't work out _ .


End file.
